The biking scheme

The postdoc has made an important discovery. There is a deterministic relationship between her morning experience with the shared bike scheme and the overall success of her day. The following translation rules are of particular relevance.

  • Gears don’t work –> stupidly forget the talk by Dr So-and-so.
  • Brakes are broken –> say something silly in an email, regret it, write another email to fix it, make it all worse.
  • Adjustable bike seat slowly drifts down whilst cycling –> realise that the ‘insight’ from yesterday is a load of baloney.
  • More than two collisions with an electric unicycle –> paper rejected.
  • Locate an official parking space without having to cycle all the way back home –> imminent scientific breakthrough.

She’s very close to buying herself her own bike. But what if the seat is forever… not quite right…?