The postdoc has SFX-YMQ-YTZ-VCE-STN-CPH-MXP-BCN-TXL syndrome.

As a young postdoc, there was a time when she got somewhat tired of flying, and started fearing every new airport, every security queue, every authorised 100mL fluid container. Really fearing. As if someone was holding her at gunpoint.

But having grown into an older postdoc, she has now learned the value of the cold metal cabin, of the stuffy air inside and the complete surrender to the clouds outside. These days, she gets a particular kick thinking that, as she glances at the sky through the restricting oval window, no one – really no one – can join her. She is completely safe in her sky prison and in a few hours, she can righteously reply to the missed emails with a casual ‘Sorry, I was travelling today’.

She’s noticed that it’s like Stockholm syndrome, except that she hasn’t been in ARN for ages. So it’s not ARN syndrome, it’s SFX-YMQ-YTZ-VCE-STN-CPH-MXP-BCN-TXL syndrome.

It’s just a shame that recently, some airlines have started offering wifi on the plane. She hopes that it’s just a short-time advertising gimmick. That it won’t work. That it will be too expensive. Anything.

Because if it’s there to stay, it will be like, shoot me now.