The postdoc wakes up to a couple of headhunting emails. One from an Internet giant, one from some unknown company dealing in ‘Big Data and the Cloud’. The first email starts ‘Greetings, Andreas’. The second ‘Dear Dr Uhlbit’.

The trouble is, her name is not Andreas Uhlbit. In fact, it’s not Andreas and it’s not Uhlbit either.

She briefly considers telling the Internet giant that if that’s the state of their database, they indeed need help, but she sadly isn’t into databases – even though she’s occasionally regretted it.

In the end, she just presses delete. Life is short when you’re Andreas Uhlbit.